Just scratching the surface

Had we met a few years ago, you wouldn't have recognized me. I was trying to buy my self confidence through superficial things like new clothes, extensions, fake nails and designer handbags. It was as if I could mask the fact that I was overweight and unhappy with flashy things but guess what, people are smarter then we give them credit for (albeit some aren't but they don't tend to last in a friend roster for very long).

With the unavoidable move from mid-twenties to late, I decided enough is enough. Not only can I not afford to keep up with that look, I figured it was about damn time I work on liking the person I am and the vehicle I've been given to get through life instead of spending so much time unhappy (go figure!)

So I did what any person who wants to lose weight did and went to the Internet. I read up on the latest diet trends and tricks and would write out long lists of things I could and couldn't eat, calorie allotments and plans and I would follow them for a few days before I would be come this awful, grumpy, sleepy bitch because I was hungry. I would give in to my temptations and nosh for a day or two then wallow in self pity and hate before doing it all again the following Monday.
Repeat this pattern for a few months and we get to where I am today.

I've been working on eating clean and working hard. When I remember to pay my gym membership, I'm usually there a few times a week otherwise I'm at home, playing with the dog or doing circuits in the basement. By no way does this mean I failed for months and then one day just got it. HA! It's a daily struggle between knowing what I should eat and what I want to eat. For examle, the large Pad Thai I just had for lunch? That falls on the want to eat list. But at least its starting to make sense and becoming more of a lifestyle then a diet.

So here we are, 8 months until I marry my fiance and I've got a lot of weight to lose. The fact that I want to be the hottest bride and that we've chosen to have a destination wedding is my motivation. (If wearing a wedding dress isn't stressful enough, lets add a week of wearing a swimsuit in front of your closest friends and family to add to the pressure).

This is just the tip of the iceberg but I promise not to be lame and boring and shove health information and my successes (if I have them) down your throat because no one likes that and plus, there is so much more to my life than that!