I'm Backkkk!

I've been MIA for awhile because I needed to focus on getting my life in order. Work got nutty and I started feeling a little crazy so I dropped everything while I tried to get back to my happy place and here I am!

2014 was very welcomed in my life as I just wanted 2013 and all the ups and downs to go away.  A new year doesn't mean nothing can follow you from the previous one, but something in me always feels like I get to start over.

So... speaking on 2014 and resolutions, I've decided not to make many as I always give up by the second week in January but instead, I've decided to focus on a few small things that are achievable. The first being my tendency to procrastinate. I've downloaded an app and set small goals with the time lines being a few days and I get reminders. I've can also add comments on why I should complete those tasks in a timely matter so when I don't feel like doing it, it pops up with reminders on how I will benefit by getting it done right away.

Second, I've got a coach and signed up for T25 (similar to P90X and Insanity) and I've changed my whole diet to eating clean. I wasn't doing too bad to begin with, but I feel this will give me the extra push I needed. My coach is awesome and holds me accountable for everything and on my first week, I feel way better and more focused. I'm super excited to start the work outs and start seeing some changes.

Wedding plans are coming along as they should since the wedding is only 111 days away! My dress is in and we've booked our marriage commissioner and I'm starting to work with the resort for all my appointments and spa visits. Ryan and I are still debating on whether we will stay an extra week or not but that depends on whether we have the money to do so. If not, we'll take a late honeymoon in the fall and base it around my trip to Washington in October.

Work is going well. Lots of changes are going on which is great and my role is ever changing and bringing more challenges and learning experiences. I'm happy which is very important since I spend so much time there!

Just scratching the surface

Had we met a few years ago, you wouldn't have recognized me. I was trying to buy my self confidence through superficial things like new clothes, extensions, fake nails and designer handbags. It was as if I could mask the fact that I was overweight and unhappy with flashy things but guess what, people are smarter then we give them credit for (albeit some aren't but they don't tend to last in a friend roster for very long).

With the unavoidable move from mid-twenties to late, I decided enough is enough. Not only can I not afford to keep up with that look, I figured it was about damn time I work on liking the person I am and the vehicle I've been given to get through life instead of spending so much time unhappy (go figure!)

So I did what any person who wants to lose weight did and went to the Internet. I read up on the latest diet trends and tricks and would write out long lists of things I could and couldn't eat, calorie allotments and plans and I would follow them for a few days before I would be come this awful, grumpy, sleepy bitch because I was hungry. I would give in to my temptations and nosh for a day or two then wallow in self pity and hate before doing it all again the following Monday.
Repeat this pattern for a few months and we get to where I am today.

I've been working on eating clean and working hard. When I remember to pay my gym membership, I'm usually there a few times a week otherwise I'm at home, playing with the dog or doing circuits in the basement. By no way does this mean I failed for months and then one day just got it. HA! It's a daily struggle between knowing what I should eat and what I want to eat. For examle, the large Pad Thai I just had for lunch? That falls on the want to eat list. But at least its starting to make sense and becoming more of a lifestyle then a diet.

So here we are, 8 months until I marry my fiance and I've got a lot of weight to lose. The fact that I want to be the hottest bride and that we've chosen to have a destination wedding is my motivation. (If wearing a wedding dress isn't stressful enough, lets add a week of wearing a swimsuit in front of your closest friends and family to add to the pressure).

This is just the tip of the iceberg but I promise not to be lame and boring and shove health information and my successes (if I have them) down your throat because no one likes that and plus, there is so much more to my life than that!